“The Vegans are coming!”

It’s a weird concept being allergic to Cows milk protein. I suppose it’s more of a weird concept that we actually drink cow’s milk in the first place. Vegans Unite! Not really, I do love dairy. It’d be the one thing I’d struggle to give up. Not even milk, it’s the cheese and yogurt I’d struggle with. Now, you can buy some lovely dairy free yogurts but I’m yet to find an alternative cheese; a cheese free cheese if you will. I use Soya or Almond milk in cereals and shakes, but not tea and coffee. That’s just wrong. Some lad told me to try an oat milk flat white, ‘It’ll change your life,’ he bragged. Well it didn’t, he’s full of shit. It was disgusting. I’d quicker drink it black. I did drink black tea and coffee when I lived in Australia as no other git, but me, would buy milk or sugar. Oh, but they’d then take liberties on it when I did buy it. I’m sure one of them used to bathe in it or something. They must have the speed it went down.

I am leaning towards being a veggie, it’s a slow process, years in the making. It’s not that I dislike meat. I love it, it’s very tasty. I’d eat the lamb of God if it was seasoned right. However, from an ethical point of view I’m leaning away from it and my meat consumption has plummeted over time. There is a ringing niggle of conscious guilt with every mouthful. As someone put it, no animal should have to die to fill your sandwich. They’re kinda right. Every time I see fields full of cows, sheep or pigs I just think… poor sods. The flip side of this argument is that if we didn’t eat them, they wouldn’t exist. Few people are just gonna keep large herds for shits and giggles. Still, it’s becoming increasingly unease for me as time progresses. Especially when you consider the environmental impact farming has in terms of water and land usage, deforestation and emissions. It’s a toxic combination.

I was speaking to a mate called Mike today, explaining Baby T’s cow’s milk Allergy. The whole 1 in 10 suffer, how they grow out of it etc etc by the age of 1. He pointed out that Baby T might not grow out of it. I hadn’t actually considered this. Another friend of ours, their child is well up and still can’t have Cow’s Milk. I mean it’s not the end of the world like, given all the alternatives. You’d just need a bigger fridge because all the alternatives taste so different, you can’t just replace cows milk with one. You replace it with many and for different things. If this were the case and Baby T couldn’t ever drink cow’s milk, I’d probably just give up the cow’s milk altogether. It’d be easily done. I think I buy cow’s milk now more out of habit. It could easily go.

This did all make me wonder if we are going down a route of evolutionary veganism. Mother Nature has maybe had enough of us dicking about and destroying her planet, thus has started us on the path of vegan evolution. We’ll all become allergic to meat and dairy, or maybe ours brains will evolve to find the idea revolting. I could all ready be happening. Baby T could be growing up to be nature’s own vegan activist. One of millions who will come to dominate the world. One who will hunt us meat eaters down with sharpened carrots and bludgeon us into extinction with wonky sweet potatoes. People would shout the way American’s once shouted when the British landed. “The Vegans are coming!” Meat eater would disperse and scarper into the bushes as Angry Vegans came marauding into view armed with parsnip handguns, riding upon cauliflower tanks. Wouldn’t be a pleasant way to go but the planet would be a lot happier. The cows, sheep and pigs especially. They’d be out doing the hula down the high street, throwing stones through the butchers windows and taking the matadors to court. That’s a idea for a story right there. It’s have a happier ending than Animal Farm. I’m still not over what they did to Boxer. The bastards!

Speaking of which, I’ve a short story to crack on with. Boris Johnson as Batman isn’t going to write itself.

The picture attached is of a beautifully random gift I received in the post today. Made by my mate Mike’s wife Jen. Just turned up in the post and I love it. Mike says she’s been using her lockdown time quite productively. I’d agree, and I’m sure Baby T will love it too.