So, as promised I didn’t write another blog post. Four whole months later and I’m back, to tell you, I can really shake that… no no that. I’m here to tell you that I wrote the first draft of a screen play. Bosh! Now I just need to redraft it, then redraft some more… and probably redraft several more times before I then pop it online and make millions. Because that’s how it works right? In no way shape or form quixotic. Absolutely achievable. Done deal. “Show me the money!” Somebody order me some celebratory Dom Perigon and some scantily clad masseuses, I’ll be round momentarily in my Ferrari. Registration plate: WR1T3R.
Now you probably thinking, he maybe getting ahead of himself here. I’m not. I say I’ll make millions but sadly I know thats not a realistic figure. It’ll probably be more like 12p for a debut. This script could be so gash, no lad or lass is prepared owt for it. I’ll have to give the bloody thing away. That said, I wrote one. Box ticked. Everyone starts somewhere and this is my beginning. Theoretically I can only get better from here. (“Theoretically”)
Anyway, let me tell you how this script came about.
A few years back I had a dream I was a pregnant lady being chased by a massive ant. (Yep, I know, don’t ask). This then festered upstairs in my bonce for a while before it morphed into the idea of a alien race at war with humanity. Humanity aren’t doing so well, yet we’ve reached a stalemate in the war. The Alien race wants to leave but are stranded, Humanity wants rid of them but also wants their technology before they go. A deal could be done but can either side can be trusted? (Oooooh, nail biting right?) Thus, many different forces are at work, each with their own agendas. It’s set quite a bit in the future following a virus that ripped through Earth and her colonies. This resulted in us wee humans being on the back foot even before the invasion. However, was it an invasion or an act of self defence by the Alien race? Or did they bring the virus? (Queue more Oooooooh’ing).
If you’d like to find out, you’ll have to pay me a Million Pound / 12p.
Reading it back, there’s more than one way to sum that wee descriptive blurb of a paragraph. One word that jumps out at me is egregious, and I wrote it. (It’s a posh way of saying it sounds a bit shite). I’d like to think the actual script is better than how I describe it. I’d be the first to admit my marketing capabilities are equivalent to that of the lads behind the Astra Zeneca vaccine. That said, I promise to publish both the first draft and final draft on here one day so you can see how the script matured. The photo attached is a terrible screenshot of the first page. Why do camera phones hate monitors?
To help me format the script properly I’ve been reading a lot of scripts, just to see how they compare to my own. Brevity is not my friend. I’m finding my script is much wordier than every script I’m reading. Im not sure that it’s a bad thing to have too much though, rather than too little, especially in a first draft. However, from reading the likes of Alex Garland’s Ex Machina and Fancher & Green’s Blade Runner 2049, it’s clear I’m more waffler than virtuoso in terms of writing ability. It’s not that I think I’m inept, my script just reads more like a tome than an actual script. Cutting words / redrafting is gonnabe what I’m at for the next wee while.
Still, I’m very chuffed I wrote my fist draft. Would I be getting ahead of myself I took on a pseudonym? Probably. Not to say I wont though.
I hope you’re all well. Wish me luck.